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Am I imagining this or is it real

Oh yes, I’m dissociating

What is real?

I’m losing my mind

In the calmest way

I don’t think I’m fine

But I’ll be okay.

My inner most thoughts

Just revealed like that

Vulnerability just sucks

I prefer that mask

A facade of neat

To cover up my weak spots

Someone tell me how to get rid of these dark thoughts

I know what I need

Some inner work indeed

This can’t be real life

This must be a dream

Or a nightmare for me cus I just can’t see

Why me why me

This victim mentality

I’ve become so used to it

A tragic normality

Some inner self work and a new mindset

Will give me the strength that I just don’t have

A walking contradiction

I confuse myself

So please bare with me

I must excuse myself

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MY NAME IS DIA

Well, you can refer to me as DIA, which is short for Claudia.

Karina, which is my middle name, or nocturnalxo are preferred if the nickname DIA doesn’t rock your world. whatever you decide this is the story of my life… totally joking you’d have to pay me for that one but this will be a place where i face something that i have noticed to be my biggest fear. Being completely transparent and vulnerable. With that being said, what you can expect is a great deal of poetry, thoughts and self reflection. Knowing me i will definitely add lyrics and quotes.

Maybe if i feel bold enough short stories but just know i am a fiction writer. Just a little background information though, I’ve been writing since about 8 or 9. I used to write fan fiction and post it on YouTube and i’m one of those people who will bring that up until death because i was pretty successful, for a 8/9 year old. My insecurities were pretty successful as well though. I hid behind a username and only those closest to me knew about it. If i only had kept going perhaps i would have a Netflix movie out by now. Life took over and i kind of strayed away from my dreams. Either way, everything happens for a reason. Although that is such a cliche thing that people usually only say to make themselves feel better i have seen it to be true in ways that may or may not be evident with my future blog posts. As in I’ve gained a lot of experience and new perspectives that perhaps can and will make my writing better and better but, you be the judge. This is my first ever blog i loved the show AWKWARD but never even imagined creating my own. If im being honest i can’t completely tell you what im going to say, all i know is i have a lot to say and a lot of feelings so for all you emotionally crippled folks you might not wanna tune in. I can get pretty intense.

So All in All like Demi sang ” This is real, this is me I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be now
Gonna let the light shine on me And now I’ve found who I am
There’s no way to hold it in No more hiding who I want to be”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gv3KA6onF0w