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PSA

I just want to say to all the bloggers who follow me, or anyone reading this, I barely know how to navigate this website so please bare with me! I only created it 3 days ago, I need to watch more YouTube videos for all the ins and outs, so this blog is under construction until I have learned completely but thank you for showing love and feeling interested enough to want to keep up with myself and my work, it means more than words could even describe. Okay good morning or goodnight ❤

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New day

Swallowed by the dark

sometimes it’s hard to remember just who you are

The light can seem so far

but hold on to that shining star

it lives in each and every one of us

look within and the dark will once be an old home of past scars

Tomorrow is a new day

Hold on to that shining light, try to pray

For the darkness is only temporary

and our light may be dimmed but its eternally within

Hope may feel gone

but brighter days are to come ❤

Nocturnalxo

New day kanye west jay z

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Imperfectly Perfect

I used to think that i had to be perfect or at least something close to it. I used to feel like because i knew very well that i am not perfect i had to try extra hard or alternatively hide my true self. I am so grateful for the illusion of time and the experience that my life has brought because it made me realize that i am perfect… perfectly me. Me saying that does not mean that the things that need to evolve or the things that hurt others and myself are okay. Taking accountability for faults and changing those said faults are ideal. Staying stagnant and saying “Well thats just the way i am.” is detrimental not only to yourself but to others around you. I’ve been there hey, i’m still there… but i’m over it. A new decade is about to begin and although i’m only 20 years old it does not mean i have to tolerate bullshit from myself or others. 2020 the year of bossing up and being the best version of yourself. When we really think about it though no body on this earth is perfect Only God. Something that is common knowledge but we often forget, especially with social media where illusions are normal and encouraged, whether we are aware of that or not. No matter what you personally believe we are on this earth to learn. Whether that may be lessons or knowledge (both). Life is what you make it and the fact that we have the technology to even read this post means we need to start counting our blessings and we have to stop and smell the roses. I say we because i am not better than anyone nor am i beneath anybody i am on the same journey. We are equals so lets make the most of this egocentric world and focus on the good. Easier said than done but i know that we could ❤

https://youtu.be/xnAc-rgvJTA

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Am I imagining this or is it real

Oh yes, I’m dissociating

What is real?

I’m losing my mind

In the calmest way

I don’t think I’m fine

But I’ll be okay.

My inner most thoughts

Just revealed like that

Vulnerability just sucks

I prefer that mask

A facade of neat

To cover up my weak spots

Someone tell me how to get rid of these dark thoughts

I know what I need

Some inner work indeed

This can’t be real life

This must be a dream

Or a nightmare for me cus I just can’t see

Why me why me

This victim mentality

I’ve become so used to it

A tragic normality

Some inner self work and a new mindset

Will give me the strength that I just don’t have

A walking contradiction

I confuse myself

So please bare with me

I must excuse myself

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Message

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MY NAME IS DIA

Well, you can refer to me as DIA, which is short for Claudia.

Karina, which is my middle name, or nocturnalxo are preferred if the nickname DIA doesn’t rock your world. whatever you decide this is the story of my life… totally joking you’d have to pay me for that one but this will be a place where i face something that i have noticed to be my biggest fear. Being completely transparent and vulnerable. With that being said, what you can expect is a great deal of poetry, thoughts and self reflection. Knowing me i will definitely add lyrics and quotes.

Maybe if i feel bold enough short stories but just know i am a fiction writer. Just a little background information though, I’ve been writing since about 8 or 9. I used to write fan fiction and post it on YouTube and i’m one of those people who will bring that up until death because i was pretty successful, for a 8/9 year old. My insecurities were pretty successful as well though. I hid behind a username and only those closest to me knew about it. If i only had kept going perhaps i would have a Netflix movie out by now. Life took over and i kind of strayed away from my dreams. Either way, everything happens for a reason. Although that is such a cliche thing that people usually only say to make themselves feel better i have seen it to be true in ways that may or may not be evident with my future blog posts. As in I’ve gained a lot of experience and new perspectives that perhaps can and will make my writing better and better but, you be the judge. This is my first ever blog i loved the show AWKWARD but never even imagined creating my own. If im being honest i can’t completely tell you what im going to say, all i know is i have a lot to say and a lot of feelings so for all you emotionally crippled folks you might not wanna tune in. I can get pretty intense.

So All in All like Demi sang ” This is real, this is me I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be now
Gonna let the light shine on me And now I’ve found who I am
There’s no way to hold it in No more hiding who I want to be”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gv3KA6onF0w