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Dysfunctional Part 1/2

DISCLAIMER: 100% fiction! all from my imagination not even realistic fiction just fiction! enjoy.

The room felt tense, silence making the most sound as the results await. Layla took a glance at Richard who’s face had already started to drop. Richard kept pacing up and down the hallways just waiting for the doctor to come out and rip the band-aid. She quickly got up to console him and reassure him that the call would be positive and everything would be fine. As if somehow, her wishful thinking would give her the right to promise such promises.

I stood at the corner of the room, watching the whole room. A part of me felt the dread coming from the silence that awaited me and my cousins.

“So, who is going to call Aunt Elainne and let her know what is going on with her son? Because i really am assuming one of you guys snuck off to the bathroom and had the common sense to do it.” My cousin Stephens irritated voice echoed the private waiting room we were put in. We all just exchange looks while Anna rolls her eyes

“You sound so dumb right now because you know damn well you can pick that phone up and make that call since you are the one wh-” before Anna can finish her thought, Stephen cuts her off arguing with words that just drowned out from everyone now arguing.

“Enough!” My voice creaks and i let out a grimace. “I cannot believe even in a moment like this you guys find ways to try and tear each other down.” Nobody is making eye contact and the energy is intense.

Family is really hard to deal with sometimes and i sure know a lot about that. Tonight was supposed to be us going out and having a good time, Tonight we all agreed to trying. I’m not sure how to tell you all how we got here but here we are.

We all meet at Discos Bar, we all have a good time. Reconnecting and actually getting a long, rare for us! Maybe this family is cursed though because the peace didn’t last for long. The type of family we grew up with back home in Oklahoma were tough. When it comes to love languages let’s just say they didn’t know how to apply any. Made some of us rough around the edges and the ones who didn’t toughen up are more on the out of touch side of trauma. Stephen, he’s one of the tough ones, not hard to imagine that Anna is as well.

Then there is Layla and Ricky, Layla is like me who has a fathers side who cares and isn’t as fucked up as my mothers side but Ricky? Well, Ricky has a few loose screws. I don’t know much personally but i heard he’s been through the worst between all of us cousins. The Black Sheep of the family, as you will.

Me? I’m a mix of both. Rough around the edges and someone who also has issues. Sometimes i think that everyone has issues and while that maybe true to a certain extent, i’m convinced with the more people i meet that i just say that to make myself feel better. The type of issues we have must be more than any other family as a collective because boy are we messed up.

It all started when Layla drank her 6th shot.

“Let’s go to the bathroom.” Layla gets up and takes my arm. I have 3 shots in so far and i already see her stumbling, that’s because she drank too fast. When we got to the bathroom she looked at me and started laughing.

“What is so funny!” I ask with a grin on my face but the grin turns into a complete 180, before i know it Layla starts sobbing. So much going through my mind, first thing i will admit i wondered was if she took me into the bathroom to cry; then i wondered why she was crying. “Are you okay?” I ask kinda freezing up. Me and Layla aren’t really close even though we are family.

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Unconditional Love

From your strongest to your weakest

Ive seen you when you hit your peak and

I dont love you any less

For the time you were down

Thats why i know now

That i know love

From its smiles to its frowns

my love for you never broke in two

And even on the days when you would poke me to

erupt into flames

The love still remains

Family ties hold weight

But even if we weren’t blood related

I know life would still have had us fated

To love one another

What is love?

What is unconditional love?

It is us, it is the upbringing of trust.

@nocturnalxo

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An Ode To My Great Aunt

Its all hitting me at once

If i knew that was the last time i was going to see you

I would have hugged you harder and reassured my love had only gotten stronger

Even when the disease in your brain took my person away

I never forgot that shred of you that still remained, That shred of you that would take me to the park to play games

As a youngin but now id be frontin’ If i told you i cried when i heard the news

Because now as the decision to pull the plug comes closer

The tears in my eyes seem to flow with more force so

Yeah, Its all hitting me at once.

I prayed and prayed for your well state

From the minute you were diagnosed back in the 7th grade and we took you in to give you a place to stay

But i told God that this life for you is misery

Imagine if you ended up losing your memory

And now i regret it because i feel guilty like it was because of me

Like if i was in that lobby maybe i could have caught you

You told me your time was coming but i lacked to take it seriously

Your Dementia and Alzheimer’s would make you say anything

But i just want you to know that i just want your soul to glow and grow

And if you’ve reached past this mortal humanly ground than i understand if you have to go

Although i wish i could keep you around it still feels selfish somehow

90 summers you’ve lived

so safe travels if you end up with kin in the sky and tell them all that the kid said hi.

@nocturnalxo

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Cry All The Time

She would cry

Cry cry

All the time

Because you left her with 2 kids

And left me with just my mind

I would see the tears fall from her eyes all the time

Because she had a fatherless son and daughter to raise

Because you couldnt find the time so she raged

She would cry

cry cry

All the time

Because you broke her heart in two and she would see the pain transmute into her daughter too

She would cry

Cry cry

All the time

Because everything she asked from you

You gave to another woman who never had to grow your seeds

And that alone just made her heart bleed

I would cry

Cry cry all the time

Because i grew up feeling abandoned by the figure who was never supposed to leave me stranded, supposed to never leave my side

So i would cry

Cry cry all the time

Because i got a taste of what it would have been like to have you around

And you snatched that away

And you let me down

I would cry

Cry cry all the time

Because i had low self esteem because when you left her it felt like you left me

@nocturnalxo