Im only 21 but i feel so old
Like i been around here before
When i put the phone down im more aware
When i put the ganja down my memories fleeting back like air and it feels so como se dice libre
pero ya yo veo para mi y mi familia
Me doi el poder y temblor de jesus christo
Amen.
-@CKC
https://music.apple.com/us/album/real-feat-anna-wise/1440818890?i=1440819134
Hi! Its me nocturnalxo and im going to let you guys know that this website isnt staying up forever. I plan to close it around December after a year is up. I plan on writing a book that includes poetry and fiction one day hopefully soon! So to keep up with my writings i think you guys should follow me on instagram @nocturnalxo And if you want to contact me my personal email is kcabral91@gmail.com
Thanks for tuning in , its been fun but i have too much talent to keep it on a blog forever! Hope you guys understand ❤
Since a child i’ve looked up to you
your essence of charisma is what made me fall in love too
Although taboo and a little out of the ordinary
Your songs would help guide me, it is still something very extraordinary
Your words would show me to much wisdom at such a young age
You inspired me to be more than just one page
You was a deep complex dude
I could relate so much to you
Just a kind of vibe only you can provide
And i feel your heart because it feels just like mine
Although i wish you could be here
i understand that this place caused you way too many tears
So i say hello from the other side
I know you with afeni going on your joyride
To thugz mansion the place that you reside
doing your job as an angel
Just know every time i pray i say your name
Because you helped mold me
And forever in the highest regards
Thats how i will hold thee
Don’t worry about me
Worry about you
I been sleeping good but its the guilt that left me shook
As if i influenced everyone around me
I doubt it so don’t you dare doubt me
As if I’m the evil…
As if I’m the person who been primeval..?
As if i havent been on a mission of retrieval.
I guess nobody knows unless you change the tone,
And open that mouth to let it be known what you told
But im not the type to ask for credit
And maybe thats where im wrong because people do forget it
Not only that but people rewrite history in their own minds
Im not a perfect human i been there back in time
And if we didn’t have textbooks who would be able to tell this fake time?
But the truth is its all in my head
And i suffer from certain things that are better left unsaid
They told me im an open book
I said if you only knew everything that it took,
it truly would leave you shook.
They told me i belong in a hospital
I told then these tears taste sweet as sweet as the sunday gospel
They told me id never make it
Well i still aint there yet but Lord knows i aint shaken
They told me im too weird
I told them take this free homily and soon after they appeared
Sometimes the reflection can be painful
Sometimes we take things on because we are made to
Sometimes peace of mind is all we need
To know that things will be fine in the in between
Sometimes we react off instinct
Sometimes our dreams do die because we arent listening
Sometimes it hurts to look
But not this time because I’m giving it all it took
Most times the wrong people cling
To the message and hold on to it with bling
To talk is to walk
If i don’t walk the walk how can I talk the talk
If I don’t see the problem
How can I be the solution
I guess that’s the beauty of mystery
Mystery because we are all bruising
To smile through the pain and endure the rain
Means to keep the mirror feeling sane
To meditate not medicate might be my generations biggest struggle
If i gotta be the poster child just know they will end up
charging me with double
But im a soldier i was made from the rubble
Yet my heart beats fast so i gotta slow it down or else im stubble
Poetry is for the unexpressed souls
Poetry is for the creatives that need the juice to flow
Poetry is for the hearts that need healing
Poetry is for the minds to decipher the meaning
Poetry is for love and heart
Mind and street smarts
Poetry is for the soul like fertilizer for the creative planting hole
Like the sun that washes away all of the rainy tears we experience in multiple ways
Or the moon that illuminates the dark we fear
Poetry is for the song that must be sung
Or the heart that needs the alarm to be rung
For different perspectives on life
Poetry is for you and I and all peoples of every walk of life
Whether we create it as our mission
Or we read it just so our spirit can listen
Whether we spit it so the ground can tremble
Or we hear it so the chills can continue through our vessels
It’s an art that requires soul
An art that requires empathy to unfold
It’s not about the rhyme scheme
Or the similes, metaphors or double entendres
And although all that adds to the beauty
It’s the message and how it’s delivered
That makes others shiver
So next time you hear it or read it maybe even write it or deal it
Just realize the power of words
Others will try to belittle it
But the power of being heard
Is a power we all desire
We have it in our hands, our hearts and mind’s eye
so be sure to thank your higher power
⁃ @nocturnal
Love
It came so easily
But was it love or just lust that I accepted
Which was the frequency?
Never mind that because although the love you gave did end up pleasing me
Still
Something was missing, my usual carefree spirit was wheezing for air
As if you sucked it all out of me and left me without a care
As if I give and give and give
And I live to forgive then relive
But to see your highs while I stay low
A leech you are
Protected by your costume of snow
In the moment it’s bliss
When I look back I reminisce
On how I missed out on an equal give and take
Choosing someone who I knew would end up giving me heartache
All for something that felt good but when I wake up I see it was all fake
I see past the desire of feeling love
It’s all about you, it always was
The most beautiful boogeyman
Stuck on your looks and I really should have looked passed that
You were my favorite nightmare but for what?
It’s just a fact that it was all For a quick fuck and a trip to the land of unseen
I’ll tell you what
Tonight, I’ll see you again in my dreams
J wants to die she’s working on dying before her time
What can you do
She takes those pills it’s fucking with more than just her mind
What can you say
Has so much potential but wastes it on cheap thrills
Doesn’t see too far ahead she’s stuck on the mundane wheel
When everyone sees her, they see a star in the making
But the way she’s followed the trend makes them feel like they’re sadly mistaken
J just wants to fill an empty hole that her reality isn’t giving
J isn’t a bad person she’s just fallen victim to the hood life she’s been living
Once j wakes up and realizes health is wealth
Once j wakes up and realizes drugs and substance won’t bring you strength
Once she sees it’s all in the books that she reads and the knowledge that will help her live her vivid dreams
Once she sees there’s more to life than fast cars and the newest EP
Once she sees that the family and friends around her are blessings amongst other things
Once she starts smelling the roses and learns this lesson
The manifestation will start rolling, and there won’t be so much stressing
But who am I to speak?
I’m just an observer watching my friend slowly bring on an early peak
It hurts to see but addressing it is hard because it’s depressing to hear about all of her scars
Knowing all I can do is listen
Can’t make any actions for her that’s her own mission
Nobody’s perfect I would never judge her for giving in to the unhealthy frisson
I just wish one day she complies and sees the real vision
I pray she gets out of that mental prison and all the self sins she made on herself she’s able to look at herself and be forgiven
Nobody’s perfect! I’m not a saint
And the way it’s easy to be a victim to substance abuse should make us all say …
”Hold up, wait.”
The youth must wake up and realize the war on drugs is personal
It’s not the same as it was back then It’s actually way less merciful
In the fact that it’s gotten stronger chemicals in it that will make your high last longer
It’s not innocent and if you’re not grounded
It’ll leave you in false imprisonments
In your mind
So never depend
Never look at it as a friend.
Never think that it’s a problem solver
Because next time you look, you’re playing Russian roulette with a gun revolver
⁃ @nocturalxo
Growing up without a father left me feeling empty
Searching for things that would fill the void it left me
Searching for things that didn’t accurately align with my purpose
Things that set me back I wonder if it was all on purpose
If I was meant to have to learn from all these lessons
The stress this life gave me also came with many blessings
But when I look back i try to find exactly what made me
The trauma did it made me stronger
Strong to fight with bravery
Strong to fight so nothing on this earth can genuinely phase me
and when I look back, I used to want to be so perfect
Not knowing that the trauma made me grow so I can thirst this
thirst for a purpose that would make me feel so free,
desire for all of the knowledge I could gain in these crooked streetz
I didn’t have a father to teach me the full game
just a lot of family that wanted to and tried to help me gain
higher self-esteem to look at myself positively
let the feeling of it all being my fault go, so I could breathe
that empty feeling, I had to fix within my soul
I couldn’t understand it left me feeling like this life just continues to take tolls
like love was war and that I needed a man
like I could do nothing on my own, and I needed a helping hand
I went through many trials
trials and tribulations
I almost pressed the dial
I almost couldn’t face it
I didn’t understand why my life was such a hit and miss
but then something clicked it took a while, but I began to predict
had visions of a life that I could see
A life that was designed perfectly for you and me
A life where you won’t have to suffer and then die
A life where dreams come true and all I did was open my eyes
because this life cant really be such a grand chore
as long as you work for what you want, there will always be more
I realized that life is really what you make it
I learned after certain trips
that left me stranded in the Himalayas
I’m still not perfect but trust me when I tell you
I do stay growing cause this life will continue to test you
The alchemy of pain is the knowledge that I gained and how its flourishing
The passion that remains, build it up if the pain has left any stains
because something that is true is that we’re here for a short time so just do you
Swallowed by the dark
sometimes it’s hard to remember just who you are
The light can seem so far
but hold on to that shining star
it lives in each and every one of us
look within and the dark will once be an old home of past scars
Tomorrow is a new day
Hold on to that shining light, try to pray
For the darkness is only temporary
and our light may be dimmed but its eternally within
Hope may feel gone
but brighter days are to come ❤
Nocturnalxo
