Growing up without a father left me feeling empty
Searching for things that would fill the void it left me
Searching for things that didn’t accurately align with my purpose
Things that set me back I wonder if it was all on purpose
If I was meant to have to learn from all these lessons
The stress this life gave me also came with many blessings
But when I look back i try to find exactly what made me
The trauma did it made me stronger
Strong to fight with bravery
Strong to fight so nothing on this earth can genuinely phase me
and when I look back, I used to want to be so perfect
Not knowing that the trauma made me grow so I can thirst this
thirst for a purpose that would make me feel so free,
desire for all of the knowledge I could gain in these crooked streetz
I didn’t have a father to teach me the full game
just a lot of family that wanted to and tried to help me gain
higher self-esteem to look at myself positively
let the feeling of it all being my fault go, so I could breathe
that empty feeling, I had to fix within my soul
I couldn’t understand it left me feeling like this life just continues to take tolls
like love was war and that I needed a man
like I could do nothing on my own, and I needed a helping hand
I went through many trials
trials and tribulations
I almost pressed the dial
I almost couldn’t face it
I didn’t understand why my life was such a hit and miss
but then something clicked it took a while, but I began to predict
had visions of a life that I could see
A life that was designed perfectly for you and me
A life where you won’t have to suffer and then die
A life where dreams come true and all I did was open my eyes
because this life cant really be such a grand chore
as long as you work for what you want, there will always be more
I realized that life is really what you make it
I learned after certain trips
that left me stranded in the Himalayas
I’m still not perfect but trust me when I tell you
I do stay growing cause this life will continue to test you
The alchemy of pain is the knowledge that I gained and how its flourishing
The passion that remains, build it up if the pain has left any stains
because something that is true is that we’re here for a short time so just do you
–@ nocturnalxo
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