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EGO

Everything I’m about to type I am guilty of.

This society is very ego-driven, meaning we determine our self worth on what we think about ourselves. That doesn’t sound like a bad thing but too much of anything can turn into a demise. We want to believe that in some way shape or form, we are better than the next person. This can cause us to become arrogant and mask it with confidence. I know this because it was once me. It isn’t that we are not special beings, it is the fact that everyone is special in their own ways. We all have things that make us stand out. Whether you are very in touch with your spirit, or you are a very hard worker or you are very empathetic and caring, etc. These things make us stand out but just because we may feel like we are one of one, that does not necessarily mean that it is true. That is something your ego wants you to believe. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that you should dim your light. All that I’m trying to convey is that starving your ego is healthy and won’t lead to delusion, disappointment or regret.

For example, with me, sometimes when I embrace what makes me unique or different I can unintentionally make others feel less than. Since life is a cycle assemble the uno reverse card for I as well have felt that before with others.  It is not our fault for how other people take things. A lot of times the people who take offense are going through their own circumstances. We tend to use social media as an escape and it becomes very easy to get lost in the sauce. In the age of smartphones, it is very easy to lose touch. It is not like how it began where we would have to log out and log back on when we feel like. The energy stays with us and we tend to take things personally even when it is not meant in that way. Is it our fault? Should we stop being who we are for that? My answer is No. Being mindful and aware of how strong our energy can come off is ideal. Understanding that everyone grows at their own pace and removing yourself from any energy that brings you pain, Strong or not, is the idea. My point is, Moderation is the key. Starving your ego is what we should all do from time to time yet killing your ego can and will lead to low self-esteem and depression

I think a mistake I have made is that in trying desperately to humble myself, I would kill my ego instead of starving it. There is a very fine line but once this is achieved, Aligning with your true purpose will become easier. I will put a link on helpful tips to starve your ego and align with your soul.

 

5 Ways To Starve The Ego

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Imperfectly Perfect

I used to think that i had to be perfect or at least something close to it. I used to feel like because i knew very well that i am not perfect i had to try extra hard or alternatively hide my true self. I am so grateful for the illusion of time and the experience that my life has brought because it made me realize that i am perfect… perfectly me. Me saying that does not mean that the things that need to evolve or the things that hurt others and myself are okay. Taking accountability for faults and changing those said faults are ideal. Staying stagnant and saying “Well thats just the way i am.” is detrimental not only to yourself but to others around you. I’ve been there hey, i’m still there… but i’m over it. A new decade is about to begin and although i’m only 20 years old it does not mean i have to tolerate bullshit from myself or others. 2020 the year of bossing up and being the best version of yourself. When we really think about it though no body on this earth is perfect Only God. Something that is common knowledge but we often forget, especially with social media where illusions are normal and encouraged, whether we are aware of that or not. No matter what you personally believe we are on this earth to learn. Whether that may be lessons or knowledge (both). Life is what you make it and the fact that we have the technology to even read this post means we need to start counting our blessings and we have to stop and smell the roses. I say we because i am not better than anyone nor am i beneath anybody i am on the same journey. We are equals so lets make the most of this egocentric world and focus on the good. Easier said than done but i know that we could ❤

https://youtu.be/xnAc-rgvJTA

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Am I imagining this or is it real

Oh yes, I’m dissociating

What is real?

I’m losing my mind

In the calmest way

I don’t think I’m fine

But I’ll be okay.

My inner most thoughts

Just revealed like that

Vulnerability just sucks

I prefer that mask

A facade of neat

To cover up my weak spots

Someone tell me how to get rid of these dark thoughts

I know what I need

Some inner work indeed

This can’t be real life

This must be a dream

Or a nightmare for me cus I just can’t see

Why me why me

This victim mentality

I’ve become so used to it

A tragic normality

Some inner self work and a new mindset

Will give me the strength that I just don’t have

A walking contradiction

I confuse myself

So please bare with me

I must excuse myself

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MY NAME IS DIA

Well, you can refer to me as DIA, which is short for Claudia.

Karina, which is my middle name, or nocturnalxo are preferred if the nickname DIA doesn’t rock your world. whatever you decide this is the story of my life… totally joking you’d have to pay me for that one but this will be a place where i face something that i have noticed to be my biggest fear. Being completely transparent and vulnerable. With that being said, what you can expect is a great deal of poetry, thoughts and self reflection. Knowing me i will definitely add lyrics and quotes.

Maybe if i feel bold enough short stories but just know i am a fiction writer. Just a little background information though, I’ve been writing since about 8 or 9. I used to write fan fiction and post it on YouTube and i’m one of those people who will bring that up until death because i was pretty successful, for a 8/9 year old. My insecurities were pretty successful as well though. I hid behind a username and only those closest to me knew about it. If i only had kept going perhaps i would have a Netflix movie out by now. Life took over and i kind of strayed away from my dreams. Either way, everything happens for a reason. Although that is such a cliche thing that people usually only say to make themselves feel better i have seen it to be true in ways that may or may not be evident with my future blog posts. As in I’ve gained a lot of experience and new perspectives that perhaps can and will make my writing better and better but, you be the judge. This is my first ever blog i loved the show AWKWARD but never even imagined creating my own. If im being honest i can’t completely tell you what im going to say, all i know is i have a lot to say and a lot of feelings so for all you emotionally crippled folks you might not wanna tune in. I can get pretty intense.

So All in All like Demi sang ” This is real, this is me I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be now
Gonna let the light shine on me And now I’ve found who I am
There’s no way to hold it in No more hiding who I want to be”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gv3KA6onF0w