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nocturnalxo

Psychosis

Head pounding

Heart racing

It feels like

This isnt real.

Shadows dancing

Voices making me feel like i’ve made a deal

Like the air has been laced

And my hand is to my heart

im feeling the bass

Its Beating like drums that wont stop

Dissociation has taken over again and this time it brought locks

Am i dreaming? Did you hear that?

I dont know anymore, i just want my head back.

-@nocturnal

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nocturnalxo

Done Dirty

The wind in the air is left sturdy

Breezing through lies that they buried

Only those eyes know the truth

Dont ever let them lie to you

Water blood dirt fire

Doesnt matter they all get higher

From watching you rise and fall

The best thing you can do is call

The last bit of love you have inside

Its a shame it took you this long to find

Whats been buried in plain sight

Even though i don’t mind i

Feel frozen in place

Because for so long i couldn’t relate

Until i really saw

Your soul it left me in awe

Bluff after bluff thats all they seem to recall

Except your eyes always told the truth it was seen in blurry truth

And now you’re left with the blood on your leaves

What can you do everyone is over it, please!

But the encore never seems to stop

They’re just waiting for your fall

Don’t make it hot.

Oh but they see

And they analyze

Always fail to truly see

That you had it but it was hidden underneath

@nocturnalxo

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Scream Hope

I’m not going to scream

I’m not going to cry

I’m going to continue to take things one step at a time

I’m not going to freak out

Anxiety is on its way out

And all I can really say is I do wanna scream and shout! But out of happiness!

After all these years I realized my purpose and i was just masking it

Lost in the sauce of who you thought I was

Whole time I really did have it all along

HOPE

Never lose hope

It may seem cloudy right now but never grab that rope

For life has beauties that we need to experience

It’s not filled with pain

Just heavy but we must maintain

And we must stay sane

In times where we are targeted for our brains

Just a little poetic justice

I dont know about you but i hope you can trust it

As i listen to D nice and ?uest love mix it up

You know how i feel so go out and spread some love

@nocturnalxo

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The Unknown

Maybe I know too much

Maybe I know too little

But what I really know is that this time was meant to grow like I’m on a riddle

Not working for the people who represent hate

Because I just really can not relate

Keep looking I’ll send it right back to you

Do you really wanna get this started boo?

@nocturnalxo

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Untitled

Your eyes they never lie do they

I’ve seen you crying

I’ve been hearing it loud for 2 days

I wanna understand I want to see who’s behind that mask

I wanna see but maybe it is meant to be free

For open interpretation

We grasping for hope because this life looks so fake and

I wanna complain I really do but I think I found the real you

@nocturnalxo

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Hope

Never lose hope

It may seem cloudy right now but dont grab that rope

For life has beauties that we need to experience

It’s not filled with pain

Just many experience

Can be heavy but still we must maintain

For there is always a rainbow after that rain

@nocturnalxo

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Insomnia

They say, there’s no rest for the Wicked

But is it Wickedness or Weakness ?

Word to K.Dot I’m tryna embody his uniqueness

With a splash of me in between

A Conscious Devoted Poetic Queen.

Who struggles just like you and me

I don’t got the answers Im not Sway Calloway or anyone in between

But what I will say is that I do pray that my Homicidal Toxicity

Soon lifts up out and turns to grey

My spirit wants to sleep but the insomnia wants to shout

My soul wants to leap but the weed wants to pout

I’m so tired but I can’t sleep

Overactive mind but I wanna tweet

Something deep inside needs to switch sides

Because I’m over it, I’m on Summer Walkers line

Lord knows I need some peace of mind, this shit really ain’t it

Shout out to Lauryn Hill that woman is a dime

But back to the point I need to slow down my membrane

I’d be damned if Once again I’m back with the insanes

Lord give me some guidance because I’m feeling lost

I don’t know what happened

If only they knew just how far the darkness seeps through

But I cover it up real nice

Fuck around put it on a bow tie it twice

It’s better off this way sometimes

I think Atleast, anyway

Regardless of it all Ima still be ok.

@nocturnalxo

Side Note: The music I add at the end of my works usually embody the energy for it. Or the song inspired me so I’m giving it credit and showing luv ❤️

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Happy Sunday

Sunshine is strictly my mission

To live every day with only one condition

To thank God for the fact that I woke up while other bodies weren’t in that position

To smile every day and train my mind to be grateful that I have risen

I say that because i don’t want to live in a pessimistic prison

Listen! Because the darkness is quick to devour

The darkness can sometimes easily over power

But yes while living in complete reality

As a realist is ideal

I will still try to keep the rose tinted glasses on

That’s how I feel

Because living in misery just feels wrong

Growing with positivity reigning on my soul positivity like the sun that encourages me to continue to grow

Yet still, there is pain and disappointments that can be felt every day

I know it’s a cliche, but that won’t stop me from saying

The sun rises after every long night

Be that sun that gets up after every moonlight

Your psyche determines a lot of things

Determines if you’ll forever see that bad or let freedom ring

Free your mind of the enslavement it can go through sometimes

Let it bring the fertilizer to reign in

Breathe that fresh air and feel that sun because this life ain’t too generous to some

It’s the little things that will continue to keep us going

So don’t stop now because your path is still unfolding

Live in the now

Think with the sun

And walk to the sky

Nothing is impossible in the life we live, so try

@nocturnalxo

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Speed Law

J wants to die she’s working on dying before her time

What can you do

She takes those pills it’s fucking with more than just her mind

What can you say

Has so much potential but wastes it on cheap thrills

Doesn’t see too far ahead she’s stuck on the mundane wheel

When everyone sees her, they see a star in the making

But the way she’s followed the trend makes them feel like they’re sadly mistaken

J just wants to fill an empty hole that her reality isn’t giving

J isn’t a bad person she’s just fallen victim to the hood life she’s been living

Once j wakes up and realizes health is wealth

Once j wakes up and realizes drugs and substance won’t bring you strength

Once she sees it’s all in the books that she reads and the knowledge that will help her live her vivid dreams

Once she sees there’s more to life than fast cars and the newest EP

Once she sees that the family and friends around her are blessings amongst other things

Once she starts smelling the roses and learns this lesson

The manifestation will start rolling, and there won’t be so much stressing

But who am I to speak?

I’m just an observer watching my friend slowly bring on an early peak

It hurts to see but addressing it is hard because it’s depressing to hear about all of her scars

Knowing all I can do is listen

Can’t make any actions for her that’s her own mission

Nobody’s perfect I would never judge her for giving in to the unhealthy frisson

I just wish one day she complies and sees the real vision

I pray she gets out of that mental prison and all the self sins she made on herself she’s able to look at herself and be forgiven

Nobody’s perfect! I’m not a saint

And the way it’s easy to be a victim to substance abuse should make us all say …

”Hold up, wait.”

The youth must wake up and realize the war on drugs is personal

It’s not the same as it was back then It’s actually way less merciful

In the fact that it’s gotten stronger chemicals in it that will make your high last longer

It’s not innocent and if you’re not grounded

It’ll leave you in false imprisonments

In your mind

So never depend

Never look at it as a friend.

Never think that it’s a problem solver

Because next time you look, you’re playing Russian roulette  with a gun revolver

⁃ @nocturalxo

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The Alchemy of Pain

Growing up without a father left me feeling empty

Searching for things that would fill the void it left me

Searching for things that didn’t accurately align with my purpose

Things that set me back I wonder if it was all on purpose

If I was meant to have to learn from all these lessons

The stress this life gave me also came with many blessings

But when I look back i try to find exactly what made me

The trauma did it made me stronger

Strong to fight with bravery

Strong to fight so nothing on this earth can genuinely phase me

and when I look back, I used to want to be so perfect

Not knowing that the trauma made me grow so I can thirst this

thirst for a purpose that would make me feel so free,

desire for all of the knowledge I could gain in these crooked streetz

I didn’t have a father to teach me the full game

just a lot of family that wanted to and tried to help me gain

higher self-esteem to look at myself positively

let the feeling of it all being my fault go, so I could breathe

that empty feeling, I had to fix within my soul

I couldn’t understand it left me feeling like this life just continues to take tolls

like love was war and that I needed a man

like I could do nothing on my own, and I needed a helping hand

I went through many trials

trials and tribulations

I almost pressed the dial

I almost couldn’t face it

I didn’t understand why my life was such a hit and miss

but then something clicked it took a while, but I began to predict

had visions of a life that I could see

A life that was designed perfectly for you and me

A life where you won’t have to suffer and then die

A life where dreams come true and all I did was open my eyes

because this life cant really be such a grand chore

as long as you work for what you want, there will always be more

I realized that life is really what you make it

I learned after certain trips

that left me stranded in the Himalayas

I’m still not perfect but trust me when I tell you

I do stay growing cause this life will continue to test you

The alchemy of pain is the knowledge that I gained and how its flourishing

The passion that remains, build it up if the pain has left any stains

because something that is true is that we’re here for a short time so just do you

@nocturnalxo