Scream Hope

I’m not going to scream

I’m not going to cry

I’m going to continue to take things one step at a time

I’m not going to freak out

Anxiety is on its way out

And all I can really say is I do wanna scream and shout! But out of happiness!

After all these years I realized my purpose and i was just masking it

Lost in the sauce of who you thought I was

Whole time I really did have it all along

HOPE

Never lose hope

It may seem cloudy right now but never grab that rope

For life has beauties that we need to experience

It’s not filled with pain

Just heavy but we must maintain

And we must stay sane

In times where we are targeted for our brains

Just a little poetic justice

I dont know about you but i hope you can trust it

As i listen to D nice and ?uest love mix it up

You know how i feel so go out and spread some love

–@nocturnalxo

Mirror

Sometimes the reflection can be painful

Sometimes we take things on because we are made to

Sometimes peace of mind is all we need

To know that things will be fine in the in between

Sometimes we react off instinct

Sometimes our dreams do die because we arent listening

Sometimes it hurts to look

But not this time because I’m giving it all it took

Most times the wrong people cling

To the message and hold on to it with bling

To talk is to walk

If i don’t walk the walk how can I talk the talk

If I don’t see the problem

How can I be the solution

I guess that’s the beauty of mystery

Mystery because we are all bruising

To smile through the pain and endure the rain

Means to keep the mirror feeling sane

To meditate not medicate might be my generations biggest struggle

If i gotta be the poster child just know they will end up

charging me with double

But im a soldier i was made from the rubble

Yet my heart beats fast so i gotta slow it down or else im stubble

– @nocturnalxo

Different Cell

Same trials, different cell

Same struggle, different hell

Same heart, different wells

Karma comes and gets it still

Protect the hearts who beat through the stain

And smile through the pain

Living life insane but its normal in the rain

– @nocturnalxo

The Unknown

Maybe I know too much

Maybe I know too little

But what I really know is that this time was meant to grow like I’m on a riddle

Not working for the people who represent hate

Because I just really can not relate

Keep looking I’ll send it right back to you

Do you really wanna get this started boo?

– @nocturnalxo

Untitled

Your eyes they never lie do they

I’ve seen you crying

I’ve been hearing it loud for 2 days

I wanna understand I want to see who’s behind that mask

I wanna see but maybe it is meant to be free

For open interpretation

We grasping for hope because this life looks so fake and

I wanna complain I really do but I think I found the real you

⁃ @nocturnalxo

Bleeding Heart

Bleeding Heart

My heart bleeds for the love that I know is unrequited

It’s crazy to feel but fuck it I am ignited

To let go of what I cannot control is my mission

Because if I don’t I start to lose my vision

To remember is something I hope never leaves

I want to remember what it feels like to breathe

To let you go it might seem very selfish

But I had to do it for me

It’s apart of my lesson

– @nocturnalxo

Hope

Never lose hope

It may seem cloudy right now but dont grab that rope

For life has beauties that we need to experience

It’s not filled with pain

Just many experience

Can be heavy but still we must maintain

For there is always a rainbow after that rain

– @nocturnalxo

Problem Child

Just take another pill

Shit I feel like you will

Cus the way that last one left you really didn’t fill any pain you don’t want to feel

I don’t know how it got to this

Recreational pleasures turned to taking it regardless of the deadly consequence

And trust me I haven’t even lost my senses

Not yet atleast because at the pace I’m going ima just give it about 2 weeks.

Tears in my eyes I’m so confused inside

What does this life mean? What is it supposed to be?

The game of life to me seems like torture

A hell created specifically for us

Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

I Had my first real heart break at 5

15 years later it’s feels hard to be alive

Not because of that, it happens to many

But because of the cards I’ve been dealt with

I feel like I’ve suffered plenty

And so the pain, it has layers.

Because I’ve covered it up with bandaids and left it to be cleaned up for later

How can I cope? Pick up some dope

How can I feel good inside ? Pick up those pills and fly

How can I go numb? succumb to the Henny and come

To the land of Euphoria

That’s the story for ya

Dark Twisted & Sick.

I’ll never say it aloud but that’s the road I’m headed in

Happy Sunday

Sunshine is strictly my mission

To live every day with only one condition

To thank God for the fact that I woke up while other bodies weren’t in that position

To smile every day and train my mind to be grateful that I have risen

I say that because i don’t want to live in a pessimistic prison

Listen! Because the darkness is quick to devour

The darkness can sometimes easily over power

But yes while living in complete reality

As a realist is ideal

I will still try to keep the rose tinted glasses on

That’s how I feel

Because living in misery just feels wrong

Growing with positivity reigning on my soul positivity like the sun that encourages me to continue to grow

Yet still, there is pain and disappointments that can be felt every day

I know it’s a cliche, but that won’t stop me from saying

The sun rises after every long night

Be that sun that gets up after every moonlight

Your psyche determines a lot of things

Determines if you’ll forever see that bad or let freedom ring

Free your mind of the enslavement it can go through sometimes

Let it bring the fertilizer to reign in

Breathe that fresh air and feel that sun because this life ain’t too generous to some

It’s the little things that will continue to keep us going

So don’t stop now because your path is still unfolding

Live in the now

Think with the sun

And walk to the sky

Nothing is impossible in the life we live, so try

⁃ @nocturnalxo

Breaking Free

The walls around me were white

My soul felt trapped

airtight

Flashbacks of my first day

Did they really leave me here to stay?

I glanced to my left and then to my right

“You don’t belong here, you better fight”

Voices rang my eyes dropped as low as they can

I did belong, I just wasn’t well

Spirit on low, thoughts that you’ll never know

Visions of what my life could be

Was it true or was it all just a fantasy?

Misconceptions all day

I couldn’t believe I had let this get to my brain

I just wanted to escape but I knew this was my place for the time being

I wrote and wrote and wrote

Until my heart felt less broke

And once It did I looked in the mirror

Reflection looked extremely unfamiliar

Fore I was so used to the sadness

It’s almost as if I had lost all of my balance

But I knew deep down I was there

I just couldn’t see it, I barely cared

It took some time but I recovered

I didn’t lose anything I only uncovered

Deeper layers of myself

Journal writing was my help including God

All I did was write I took that pen as my fight

I’m better now than I was back then

Because I learned how to be my own bestfriend

How to love myself unconditionally

It’s a struggle still but I consistently

Try and try and try

That’s all we can do and sometimes I

Still slip up, I still fall down

As long as I pick myself up for the next time around

I will persevere as long as I stand my ground

As long as I don’t forget and I know my worth

No more tears and no more hurt.

–@nocturnalxo